Where I Meet God

Sometimes I think I find God in the middle of Barnes and Noble. Yes, right there amongst the smell of paperbacks and manufactured literary charm. I love it. I feel at home. And God especially speaks to me in the Self Improvement aisle. Yeah, he really hangs around there.

There's a certain Peace that I connect with when I come into a bookstore (particularly B&N. They're lucky because today I'm giving them a special plug). Perhaps it's the hush that befalls us once we walk through the doors of a book seller and into the world of a softer, more quiet means of communication, a place that draws us into ourselves. Or maybe people just know that God hangs out there too. It's kind of like going to church. I am lifted, I am calm. All of my happiness and hope is renewed. It's my escape, it really is a holy experience--paperbacks, mediocre coffee, green carpet, and an "Artist of the Moment" selection playing overhead. My soul is saved. And I will make it a point to say that I do not only read self improvement books on emotional or mental well-being or relationship health---I truly enjoy discovering the whole spectrum of reading (and I LOVE book covers best :) )

Silly as this all sounds, I feel whole when I am in a place like Barnes and Noble or some other book seller with established, respectable roots. And it's kind of like going to the doctor:

"Book Seller, I have this problem, you see," are the whispers from the sometimes heavy load on my heart.

"Oh, okay. Well, there's a book for that," is the answer I get from the mahogany shelves that house my prescription.

And there you have it. Instead of "There's a pill for that," it's "There's a book on that." And then I think about all those authors, all those people who had the courage to write the books. It must take such dedication, focus, zeal and a ton of personal experience to write something read by millions. Oh, and a LOT of confidence, too. I admire these souls and I wonder who they are. I'm also comforted to know that I have walked a road and sometimes continue to walk a road that they themselves have trod. I desire and hope to someday be that Voice that lights a way for others out of the darkness--whether it's humor, words with pictures, affirmations, or an autobiography of my own mountains, I hope that a Light in me can provide guidance and support for others.

As you can guess by this post, I have a lot going on emotionally. In these spaces, it's easiest to write, and it's easiest and most comforting to put it out there, not write it all back to myself in a journal (that's like, "Duh, I get it. I feel it. Why would I want to write it all out for me to read back to myself?"). Anyways, today on November 9, 2009, I feel empty, scared. But hopeful. I think these are the components of being human. And it helps me in sharing it with you. In the back of my mind there are whispers of what my mother might say: "No one wants to read about your problems. That's not good to put that out there." --But no, it's my mission to share it all in some form--writing or pictures-- and not bare it alone. Depending on my mother for input and direction is another story........ (called co-dependence. blah).

New Season = Busy As All Get-Out!

Hello dear readers. As you have seen and can tell by now, nearly a month has passed since the last posting. Life has been busy of course! Shooting weddings, engagements, baby sessions and staying up late to finish school projects-- you can just imagine! Beginning the new holiday season now amps it all up by 80mph, too! :) More to come, lovelies. Stay posted.

Also, I am considering shutting down this blog, as it's turned rather morbid at time. It's been a place where I truly and so authentically shared the inner corners of my heart and soul, however, I don't believe anyone reads it anymore and also I am discovering my heart, voice, and soul through visual means (which I do pair with written word). Be blessed. Love and blessings, peace and Light to all!

C

A Year Ago Today

What a difference a year makes.

Spooked when I look at these photos, but wow, I've come a long way, baby. This car saved my life, and Archangel Michael certainly had an eye on me. Most unsettling time in my life.

When I heard of a recent acquaintance just getting into an accident of his own... a piece of me felt so badly. I know how it is, and I hope you can get past the headache/tangle of medical/insurance files and claims to come.

New Seasons; Seasons of Change

Wow, so it's October! I love October. It's the official month of Autumn. The past five Octobers were spent in Eastern Washington, where leaves would change color and fall into heaps of piles outside my apartment window. Pumpkin and apple picking would be an autumn ritual at Greenbluff, where I'd return with bags of apples, dried corn and baby pumpkins to adorn the kitchen table and window sills with, either when I lived with roommates or was on my own. October in the Northwest was my little slice of "Americana" that I didn't get to experience growing up in the desert. I will miss the cool notes of Fall that'd tickle my nose and and settle into my peacoat during my neighborhood walks to Huckleberry's on the South Hill of Spokane, where I'd watch leaves fall one by one in front of me, soaking up what would be the last of the sunshine for the next coming months. Cheers to you, Spokane :)

2009 has brought new sentiments and notes of Autumn. I am here in the desert after being away for quite awhile. Last weekend was Octoberfest in Tempe. I went with my mom (yes, my mom!) to the Town Lake for some weekend fun. I got some great shots of the rides, people, events, and colors of the 'Fest. My mom, an avid red wine drinker, bought herself a Stella Artois.... and even liked it! Of course, though, we tried the wine garden first, but to our dismay they had run out of wine!

I find myself in transition again. As the seasons change, so does the internal landscape of the soul :) Relinquishing (or doing my best to) let go of one job and embrace a new career in photography is up front right now. I so look forward to the day when I am careerwoman!

Much more to say... but must get crackalackin' on design/photography!

Photos: A few shots from Octoberfest at Tempe Town Lake, Tempe, Arizona. The rest of are from a V.I.P. event I shot for 3D, a local beverage company, at Phoenix Fashion Week held at the Valley Ho Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. Better ones to come on the photo blog!

• Graphic • Design •

Ah, finding balance is so key right now for me! I'm at the college over 30 hours a week. I retail takes up about 12-20 hours of my time a week. Then I photograph weddings, portraits, engagements, families, etc. THEN I have begun to dip my toe into a bit of public relations consulting work for a company. Oh-Mi-GAWD! Two things!! Just two things to do and that would be fine! But one must pay the bills while following a path for what they love. I wish I could give my time to a fantastic "someone," yet all my time goes to school or getting myself in order. I suppose that will wait til 2010 :) I find the opposite sex so complicated, however :)

I absolutely do not know what to put in this space tonight. If someone put one hand on top of me, one hand beneath and pushed their palms together, I'd squish--that's how I have felt as of late, especially today. I would like to escape up North so I can decompress, feel Mother Nature (hokey, I know!), feel the breeze on my skin, listen to the Ponderosa Pines whisper. Ah, to get all freshened up again :) Renewal, regrowth, refocus, reconsider life.

No clue as to when new pictures will appear on this blog site. On my other one, new ones will appear soon. Thanks for your ears this evening :)

Shift

Today's Daily Word is "A Shift: God guides me through seasons of change in my life."

How interesting that this came up today. More uncanny is the synching of Daily Word with daily events in my life. I do feel a shift has occurred-- and more are on the way.

One important shift is that today is the first day of Autumn (woot-woot, Arizona!). Still about 100 degrees outside, the wind is blowing and the leaves are rustling around making a stir that summons Autumn. I can feel it. I can smell it. This will mark my first Autumn in Arizona since I left for college eight years ago (I discount my year-long college break because I was still 'transient'). Enthused to know that this year I won't be hopping around on Halloween night, freezing my little boo-tay off, or praying that it won't snow! The foliage from the Northwest will be missed, but I have great winter to look forward to-- no more getting caught in snow!

I met today with a woman who is starting an alternative skin care line. She is magical, and the products, according to her, are magical too :) A very accomplished business woman who is making her dream come true for her deceased European mother, Gena playfully looked in the air like I've never seen anyone do with their eyes-- as if she was looking toward heaven-- and said, "I think...... well, I think that the products are....... magical!" The conversation with her brought me to a new level of honesty and truly looking to apply my skills for the service of a higher mission.

A Shift. Friendships are falling away as new things in my life seem to appear. I haven't the slightest clue as to why, but I believe--and trust--that Something knows what's going on.

Pictured: Black and white photos from the last wedding I photographed. Taken at the Mesa Temple in Mesa, Arizona. I wouldn't put it past any of you if you already say them on my blog and new website!

Honesty

Wow, you probably do not know this, but it means the world to me when you say you read my blog and that you enjoy it. It means a lot to me when you say how you appreciate what I share and how I share it through my eyes. It reminds me that I have a voice, a heart, a vision that's uniquely mine, and I pray that with some development over time, I can use this voice, this heart, thee talents to create and spread a new fragrance of Spirit, Light and Love to all of mankind..... even in the smallest of small ways. To change one iota of the energy field of this world. Cheesy, I know, but my heart yearns to do it, or to simply be God's vessel.

I see on TV or read in books how men and women say "My mission is to love." Well, I wonder: do they wake up each day and feel like loving? Are they always on their Path? Is this something easy for them? How do they know this, too? I can get hung up on trying to pay my cell phone bill and live at home, make it work or class on time and try make time to meditate and listen to God's word..... So how the heck can someone be able to say that they know their mission, they walk in Love in love everyday? Too many damn distractions!

Thank you all for commenting and giving me a lick of encouragement. I recall last spring and summer is when I began to put myself out there in very daring ways. And without some of the tragedies that I experienced in the darker months of 2008's winter and early spring, this outlet for me would not have been born.

Love and blessings all around. I love you!

-Christine